Welcome to Sridhar’s newsletter number # 42 & Podcast (Click Play button for Audio version of the Post). Appreciate you being here, so we can connect weekly on interesting topics. Add your email id here to get this directly to your inbox.
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This weekly newsletter is mostly about the article, books, videos etc. I read or watch or my views on different topics which revolves around my head during the week. Now, let us dive into this week’s reads.
1. Keeping up with the Joneses
Lets talk about keeping up with Joneses, This is most Often topic in most of homes. Every home this will be discussed. Last week, we talked about rice and it was more of rant. so this week instead of rant, i want to focus on solution talking more. Some one is having BMW or Audi car we are having Nissan Altima as example , they are living life with enjoyment or why dont we buy the same car or even higher range than that. Remember this type of discussion at your home, may be not car , some other possessions, this topic comes up way more and every time one struggles to explain their partner that we don’t need keep up with Joneses. Or in some cases we will see that conversations goes into trap and one is buying high end car just because their colleague, friend, neighbors had it. Even it was not a need. So its either a stressful situation to explain to partner or one is getting into trap. Keeping it short, as many of us face, knows this situation. So lets talk how to deal with the situation.
Dealing with the pressure to keep up with others lifestyles and financial choices can be challenging. Here are few suggestions to address the issue regarding possessions and home buying or home improvement topics where this comes up.
Comparing Possessions
The headline explains it. This is about when partner wants to have possessions like car like neighbors, gold, diamonds, backyard setup, sofa, tv, phones, the list goes on. To address such discussion,
Acknowledge Feelings: Acknowledge your partner feelings and let her know that it's okay to have aspirations. At the same time, express your contentment with what you have and that material possessions don't define your happiness.
Value-Based Decisions: Make financial decisions based on your shared values and long-term goals. Emphasize the importance of financial stability, saving for the future, and living within your means.
Define Success: Encourage each other to define success on your terms rather than comparing yourselves to others. Success can be measured in various ways, such as personal growth, experiences, and fulfilling relationships.
Communicate Financial Goals: Discuss your financial goals and priorities as a couple. Create a budget that aligns with your shared objectives and keeps your financial situation in mind.
Home Buying/ Home Improvement Comparison
Second most faced situation is home buying or home improvement comparison. Like someone else buying 1.5 Million home or $900K home and why we are not buying like them, One keeping their blind spots here without looking that their own family income is say less than $700K. Same applies to home improvement comparison, where one is looking for much bigger deck or pool in backyard etc. To address such discussion,
Educate About Financial Risks: If someone is planning to spend 50% of their income on a mortgage, discuss the potential financial risks of such a high debt-to-income ratio. Educate your partner about the importance of a manageable mortgage payment that allows for financial flexibility.
Set Clear Budgetary Limits: Determine a reasonable budget for your own home purchase, considering factors like your current income, expenses, and long-term financial goals. Stick to a budget that provides financial security and allows for savings.
Financial Planning: Work together to create a comprehensive financial plan. Include aspects like saving for emergencies, retirement, and other future goals. This will help provide a broader perspective on your financial well-being.
Prioritize Needs vs. Wants: Distinguish between needs and wants in the home-buying process. Focus on finding a home that meets your essential needs while being mindful of extravagant features that may not be necessary.
Avoid Overextending: Remind each other about the importance of not overextending financially to buy a home. Overspending on a house can lead to stress and financial strain in the long run.
Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting a financial advisor or mortgage specialist to get personalized advice tailored to your financial situation.
Overall, fostering open communication and understanding between you and your partner is essential. Focus on building a life that aligns with your values, financial capacities, and long-term aspirations rather than trying to match others' choices or lifestyles. Remember that each individual's financial journey is unique, and what matters most is achieving financial stability and contentment within your means.
2. Gender Equality in Sweden
I ran into a person from Sweden and had a conversation with him over a basketball court. We were discussing in USA day care costs, home rents, home prices etc. typical men discussion. While in the conversation, he mentioned that for near than 5 years he was stay at home dad. Read many articles , blogs earlier about stay at home dads but this was first time talking to someone who has done that role. We went into deep 2 hour discussion talking about stay at home dad, wife as a main bread winner in home, now both work in USA. I was amazed by the culture of their family by end of the conversation. I have understanding of India and US culture as i have stayed in these two countries. Read many Japan school system , that’s another day topic, i love their school system. Sweden really amazed me. after a while, i talked to someone who is not from India or USA. That day i walked out with the conversation in my head, i know so little. There are still lot of cultures out there, so much of good to learn from different culture. So did some reading mainly short blogs , YouTube videos to learn about it more. For sure i need to spend more time, pick a book understand how their families have such culture. Yes, I read books for detailed information. As Books are the place where one can get deep detail information on any topic of interest. A article, YouTube video will easy go away after a period of time. So for sure, we will talk about this in next podcast when i will read books on Sweden Gender equality. So more to come. For now, from this week learnings.
In Sweden, the concept of gender equality is deeply ingrained in society, including in matters of family and finances. Swedish culture promotes a balanced sharing of responsibilities between men and women, both in the household and in financial matters. Here are some key points about gender roles and financial responsibilities in Swedish families:
Gender Equality: Sweden is often recognized as one of the most gender-equal countries in the world. This extends to various aspects of life, including family dynamics and financial responsibilities.
Shared Responsibilities: Swedish couples typically share both household and financial responsibilities. It's common for both partners to contribute financially to the household, whether through earnings or other means.
Dual Income Households: The majority of Swedish households are dual income households, where both partners work and contribute to the family income. This reflects the commitment to gender equality and the belief that both partners should have equal opportunities to pursue careers and contribute economically.
Parental Leave: Sweden offers generous parental leave policies, allowing both mothers and fathers to take time off work to care for their children. This encourages shared parenting responsibilities from the early stages of a child's life.
Parents in Sweden are entitled to a total of 480 days of parental leave per child. These 480 days are split into three parts: 90 days are designated for each parent, and the remaining 300 days can be shared between them.
Financial Decision-Making: Financial decisions are often made jointly, with both partners discussing and agreeing on major purchases, investments, and financial goals. This includes decisions about savings, investments, and major expenses like housing and education.
Financial Education:
Swedish schools often emphasize financial education, teaching students about budgeting, saving, and making informed financial decisions.
This contributes to a culture of financial responsibility among both men and women.
Legal Protections: Sweden has laws in place to protect gender equality, including regulations against gender-based discrimination in the workplace and financial matters.
Attitudes towards Gender Roles: Swedish society tends to have more progressive attitudes towards traditional gender roles. This means that men and women are encouraged to pursue their interests and careers based on their abilities and passions rather than predefined gender roles.
Changing Norms: While the majority of couples in Sweden share financial responsibilities equally, it's important to note that individual couples' arrangements may vary based on personal preferences and circumstances.
Overall, in Sweden, men and women are both expected and encouraged to share financial responsibilities in their families. The emphasis on gender equality, combined with policies that support work-life balance and shared parenting, has contributed to a culture where both partners are active participants in both financial decision-making and household responsibilities.
That is all for this week. See you again.
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Keeping up with the Joneses & Gender Equality in Sweden